Quarter-Life Crisis

Friday, December 15, 2006

10:22 PM Hyderabad Time

ON BASE

READING: Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance
by Barak Obama
IPod MUSIC: Dave Matthews Band—Live at Red Rocks (Disk 1)

It might be a quarter-life crisis
just a stirrin' in my soul

either way
i wonder sometime about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

am i living it right
am i living it right
am i living it right
why, why, georgia why

--from Why Georgia by John Mayer

I think I’m having a quarter-life crisis. Maybe it’s a one-third life crisis. I just turned 30 and I’m single. My work schedule that my main client offered me for next year has been severely cut back. (I’m not on salary. I get paid per event.) As I’ve been thinking and praying about it over the last few weeks, I assume if I was offered more work form any client, I would probably take the work, but I’m not sure I should—Is it too early to buy a sports car?

Looking back on my year, I was away from Denver for some or most or of 42 weeks on either business, vacation or here in India—something close to 250 nights. That’s a lot of hotels! Probably too much. I like my job, but I don’t love it. I think it’s pretty cool, but I’m not passionate about it. I want a job I love. I want a job that is meaningful and fulfilling, that I’m passionate about—not too much to ask for, is it?

Though this year hasn’t been bad. I’ve made some money. I’ve had some fun and been to some awesome locales. But it hasn’t been the healthiest year spiritually, emotionally or physically. I think I came back from India in a pretty good place spiritually, but it was hard (or impossible) to stay there solo. I think I need more regular worship and community—maybe therapy, HA!

I miss softball. I miss bowling. I miss being able to commit to anything on a regular weekly basis. I miss just the random hang out with my friends.

So the $64,000 question … What do I do now that I’m all growd up? I’m 30 and single, college-educated, virtually debt-free with manageable expenses. I can do anything. The world is my oyster.

My first choice is to become a professional poker player, but I really think that would be best to do part-time--at least until I actually break even for my lifetime. I’ll keep you posted.

Law School, some sort of other grad school, maybe for teaching; politics? All good suggestions, you say. (I’m fairly disillusioned with politics at the moment, but you never know—maybe I’ll run the Colorado campaign for Barak O’Bama. Can you imagine? Me, working on a the campaign of a Democrat?—what’s the weather forecast in hell?

Leave a comment with your job idea. Maybe I’ll put them all in a hat and say a prayer.